How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
