I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
