Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
