There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
