OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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