Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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