i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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