This is not my ceiling
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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