She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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