In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
