"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
