I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
