she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
