He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
