Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
