I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
