Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
