I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
