are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
