I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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