Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
