You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
