who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just tell him i said nine months
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
