Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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