i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
