I hate your face
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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