I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
