Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
