He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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