Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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