i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
