You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Please don't give away my fajitas
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
