I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I need to calm my uterus...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
