I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
