Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
As shirtless as possible
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
