I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
how drunk are you?
Several
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
