have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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