Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
4 words: hood of his car
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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