I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
