thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
