I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
