i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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