is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
