Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
