Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
