Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
