Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
