Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
