WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Floor bacon is actually really good
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
