I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
